So after we learn of the fiasco that took place in the museum, the gym leaders and your friends split up to search for the Team Galactic rascals. You head west into the Pinwheel Forest with the gym leader Burgh introduced to us in that last episode while your friends defend the museum. The fuck would they attack the museum again? Like, “oops i forgot something…”. Sounds like a bullshit job to me.
And so while your friends are busy being USELESS, we head right into the forest. Now for those of us experienced with Pokemon games, forests usually mean LOTS and LOTS of bug Pokemon (possibly my favorite Pokemon type) and so I’m super excited for 2 reasons:
1. To catch a bug squishable lovable bug Pokemon d(^_^)z
2. Good training ground for Smoeky, Rolla, and Pudges (Rock, Flying, and Fire are strong against bugs)
And so I catch up to Burgh and he decides to share his Super-Master-100%-Failproof Plan to cut off Team Galactic with me.
Burgh: Alright you (the unexperienced trainer who barely has two badges) should tread through the grass (filled with lots of pokemons, trainers, and most likely the most of the Team Galactic gang) and I (the fucking gym leader of a city who probably has some very high leveled Pokemon) will take the straight (easy) route and cut them off.
Me: I….hate you. Prick.
And so I trudge through the ENDLESS amounts of shitty trainers steamrolling them with a rotation of Rolla and Pudges, reluctant to step into the grass to find a Pokemon I DON’T want. My Pokemon start to get severely worn down cause I was forced to use a couple potions. I guess all that little damage definitely builds up. After i enter the grass, it’s time you meet the NEWEST CUTE MASCOT OF THE TEAM, LOVEBUG :D
After I FINALLY get to the end of the trail and find the Team Galactic member that DOES have the dragon skull, I destroy his two rat and crocodile and he just gives me the skull. What a wimp. Then Grom, One of the Seven Sages of the Team Galactic Organization (somebody gets a little TOO into job titles) comes in and tells us that the skull wasn’t even the one they needed (SOMEBODY SHOULD GET FIRED IN YOUR RESEARCH DEPARTMENT!). Then somehow (i skipped through some of the dialogue) it turns out that the two of them want to beat me up anyways. I’m fucking 11! (in the game, not irl) This team is MERCILESS.
But then the Gym Leader Burgh and Lenora show up. The FUCK took you so long Burgh? I probably put the bugs in this forest on the brink of extinction and you couldn’t even beat me to this guy? Total douchebag!
Anyways, Gorm gets intimidated and flees with his low-life scumbag of a servant and Lenora thanks us with a Moonstone. I head back to the Pokemon Center and heal up, stocking on some items in preparation to leave the city. :)
To make up for the lack of Nuzlocke today :)
Sorry, I haven’t played enough to write up anything meaningful so I thought I’d just save the little bits for the next Episode. Blame school. Check again tomorrow!
And so it’s finally a showdown between the two of us. The Normal-Typed Gym Leader and my random team of Pokemon. I lead off with my Rolla because I know i can definitely take on whatever wussy Pokemon she throws out first.
And so I Rock Smash and he does Tackle (HAH!). Since I resist his attacks due to my Rolla’s Rock type, I simply laugh at this stupid dog’s face and remind myself why I hated Pups in the first place.
After I Rock Smash him to death, Lenora, the gym leader Throws out her strongest Pokemon, Watchog!
And so I send out Jester to counter her Pokemon. Obviously Watchog can’t do anything to me. WRONG! I start off with a Razor Shell and it does roughly 60% damage to the Watchog. NBD. But then Watchog used the move Retaliate, which for those of you who don’t know, get’s a power increase when used after an ally has fainted (her stupid evolved Lillipup). It takes down a whopping 90% leaving me in the red. Hoping I don’t miss with my Razor Shell, I succeed and officially get my second badge!
After the whole gym battle, it turns out that the Team Rocket of this game, Team Galactic have broken into the museum (still not over the fact she chose to have a gym in the museum). As she storms out, I follow her to see Team Galactic standing around this Dragonite looking fossil. Blah blah, they talk about stealing it and one of them says the most hilarious line.
“Just so you know we’re serious, we’re going to steal it right in front of you!”
He’s fucking serious.
And so they take the fossil head and storm out with the gym leader chasing after them. As I head out, I see the dumbass gym leader just standing there not doing anything. Turns out she fucking lost them. In the fucking open. Dumbass.
You’re a stupid gym leader…
And so she complains yaddah yaddah, AND THEN A SURPRISE GUEST SHOWS UP! It turns out the gym leader of Castelia city just happens to walk by. He looks totally hipster.
Quite the suggestive pose.
As everyone’s talking and Lenora, that stupid dumb bitch explains what happened in her museum/gym, your friends Cheren and Bianca come. So everyone spreads out to search for the Team Galactic Ninjas.
Will we find them?! STAY TUNED. (If you said no, you’re an idiot)
anjelaac asked: boo. a zubat.
i like zubat :)
So making it to Nacrene City, I headed straight for the gym. But before I could get inside, it looks like Mysterious Trainer N wanted to battle. What was he doing in the gym anyways, does he even earn badges? Whatever, let’s kick his ass.
Stupid Feminine Green Haired Boy (Mysterious Trainer N)
He leads with his Pidove and I smash that bird to hell with Rolla’s new attack Rock Blast. I’ve always wondered, why are Rock attacks super effective to Flying typed Pokemon? Like the natural enemy for a bird is a giant stone? My dad’s explanation was that people used to shoot rocks at birds with slingshots. I wanted to tell him he had a fucked up group of childhood friends….
Anyways, his Tympole (the blue tadpole with the headphones) was kind of difficult. Within my Pokemon team, I didn’t have anything effective against water types so I sent out my reliable Jester and Tackled it to death. His last Pokemon Timburr (which I find to be one of the coolest Pokemon of this generation) was dealt with by Pudges.
After kicking his ass, I walked in ready to steam roll through this gym with Rolla (after teaching him Rock Smash, a fighting move) but then I realize it’s a…museum? Yes, you heard me, this trainer decides to hold battles in a library/museum. Anyways, after solving her stupid puzzle (finding the right book from the clues) I walk in fight the first trainer there. BOOM, it was a level 17 Patrat!
I Rock Smash’ed it to see how strong I was. I could only do about 40% damage. Also, Patrat did roughly 60% damage to my Rolla so I was forced to switch to Jester. I killed it with a Razor Shell but learned that I wasn’t ready to take on this gym yet. I left the gym to heal and I decided to head west to the Pinwheel Forest to see if I could possibly find a Timburr to catch. As I walked into the grass, the lucky Pokemon that appeared was….
I caught it anyways and named it DesFrog. Quite the unimpressive Pokemon since I already have Jester as my Water Pokemon. It would be best if I replaced him quickly… After grinding a little more, I went back to the gym with a leverl 18 Rolla, Pudges, and Smokey as well as a level 20 Jester.
Will I make it through this second gym without any losses?
As excited as I was to train Pudges, there wasn’t any time to fool around. A Pokemon Kidnapping had taken place and it was time for my Pokemon and I to save them. I head west to see Cheren standing outside of a cave. He asks if I was ready to fight. I gave him the obvious answer and the two of us headed in to the dark cave. There, we fought a couple of grunts and easily pulled off victory. And it was then Jester made it to level 17. He learned his ultimate move, Razor Shell, a 75 base power physical water attack. For low leveled Pokemon, that’s an amazing amount of power to have. Anything that takes a hit from the Razor Shell is pretty much dead.
What’s even more exciting is after the battles, Jester gave me the first evolution of the game. He evolved into a Dewott (who comes up with these names…). After the battle and some random talking, as I headed towards the exit of a cave, I ran into a Roggenrolla. Since I knew it had the ability Sturdy, I used a Water Gun leaving it with 1 HP making it a piece of cake to catch. With the addition of Roggenrolla, my Pokemon team now stands a quantity of 5. It’s starting to look like a real team!
I take my time as I walk through Route 3 because my Pudges, Smokey, and brand new Roggenrolla (Rolla) needed to catch up to my Jester in terms of strength. After a little bit of grinding, I make it through to the next city, Nacrene City. I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure this city is history themed. When I arrive, Cheren pulls me over to show me the Pokemon Center (why?) and hands me a couple of berries and mentions to me that the Gym Leader in this city uses Normal typed Pokemon.
Not sure of what to expect, I move past Nacrene City towards the entrance to the Pinwheel Forest where a nice young man hands me a TM for Rock Smash, a fighting move. For those of you who don’t know Fighting > Normal. After some consideration, I slap my Rolla with the TM and now she’s a rock-smashing rock! (does that count as murder for her kind?)
As I stand outside of the entrance to the Pinwheel Forest in preparation for my next gym battle in Nacrene City, I stare at the grass wondering who my sixth companion will be.
With all my responsibilities in Striaton City finished (collecting the Trio Badge and helping the scientist collect her Dream Mist), it was time to continue the journey. I headed to the left to find find myself on Route 3 which led me North. There wasn’t much grass (at first) but i soon came across two houses. On the right was the Pokemon Daycare, a place where I could leave two Pokemon have them reproduce. And to the left was a Daycare for children. Fucked up right?
Inside the daycare for children was a babysitter who could heal all my Pokemon. In the playground however, were a bunch of little kids who thought they could beat my Pokemon.
They were pathetic. I trounced them with Smokey and Jester and laughed in their faces! Each of them only had one Pokemon and I easily defeated them despite their type advantages. I even battled two of them at the same time and destroyed them each. Nothing beats beating little kids up with your Pokemon. Nothing.
As I headed west from the daycare, Who else but Cheren would show up looking for a fight.
I lead with my Smokey as he lead with his Snivy. With such an obvious type and level advantage over his Snivy (my Smokey was level 15 and his Snivy 14), I decided to use two Work Ups. He could barely scratch my Smokey with his Vine Whips and so I continued to use Work Up, boosting my Attack and more importantly, my Special Attack. After 4 of them, I used my Incinerate and one-shot his Snivy. His Purrloin was sent to a quick grave at the hands of my Worked Up Smokey.
After the easy battle, we see a pair of Galactic Grunts run by us like jackasses with Bianca and some little kid not far behind. They explain that someone had kidnapped her Pokemon. Hearing this, Cheren chases after them like a madman. I, however, walked back to the daycare i so easily destroyed and healed my Pokemon. I headed into the patch of grass to see what kind of Pokemon I could catch. So, Introducing the new member to Team Awesome, Pudges the Pidove:
For Episode 5, justice will be served!
From where we last left off, the sketchy scientist had invited us to her humble home. From her story it turns out that she’d like us to head to the Dreamyard to collect Dream Mist from a Pokemon called Munna.
Now that she gave us Cut, It’s time to put it to good use. I took both the TM Work Up that I received from the victory at the gym and Cut and jammed it into Smokey. She practiced her new abilities by cutting open a path allowing us further entry into the Dreamyard. As we enter, Bianca comes running in talking and stuff (Who cares about what she has to say? Honestly.) We walk a few steps and BAM! Munna! That was easy.
As we approach, two Team Galactic grunts come in and…start….kicking? Yes, apparently, the Team Galactic method to collecting Dream Mist is to kick the Pokemon. Sounds kind of like a Lunch-Money-Bully situation. Since we all know that kicking Pokemon is a no-no (but sending your Pokemon in to fight Pokemon who can do a Hyper Beam or Flamethrower is socially acceptable for god knows why) I decided to stand up to the injustice.
The two grunts came at me with sissy Pokemon and Jester made quick work with them.
After their horrible defeat, their leader Ghestis and friends (I don’t remember the others’ name) teleports in (How are they doing this?). They scold the grunts for their failure and leave. When they leave, Musharna, Munna’s mother comes in to save her kin and just leaves (What, Trainers don’t get a thank you?).
What do you call a mother who sleeps all the time? Negligent.
And so the scientist runs in and notices that Munna dropped the Dream Mist. So kicking her worked after all? We go back to our lab and she gives us a short tutorial about connecting with other players (which i probably won’t be doing since that would conflict with the rules of Nuzlocke). Free from my obligations in Striaton, I prepare to leave.
While at the Pokemon Center healing my Pokemon, I recognized a miracle. My Pup had been holding an item this entire time and my eyes were too clouded with pure hatred to notice until now. When I grabbed it, it turned out to be an Ultra Ball. Quite the rare item for my Pup to pick up with his ability…Pickup! After this miracle, I realized that even though Pup was a horribly unlucky mistake forced upon me by the rules of a Nuzlocke, he’s still MY Pokemon and I should treat him so. He’s still fucking ugly though.