Nuzlocke Episode 4 - Day at the Daycare

With all my responsibilities in Striaton City finished (collecting the Trio Badge and helping the scientist collect her Dream Mist), it was time to continue the journey. I headed to the left to find find myself on Route 3 which led me North. There wasn’t much grass (at first) but i soon came across two houses. On the right was the Pokemon Daycare, a place where I could leave two Pokemon have them reproduce. And to the left was a Daycare for children. Fucked up right?

Inside the daycare for children was a babysitter who could heal all my Pokemon. In the playground however, were a bunch of little kids who thought they could beat my Pokemon.

They were pathetic. I trounced them with Smokey and Jester and laughed in their faces! Each of them only had one Pokemon and I easily defeated them despite their type advantages. I even battled two of them at the same time and destroyed them each. Nothing beats beating little kids up with your Pokemon. Nothing.

As I headed west from the daycare, Who else but Cheren would show up looking for a fight.

I lead with my Smokey as he lead with his Snivy. With such an obvious type and level advantage over his Snivy (my Smokey was level 15 and his Snivy 14), I decided to use two Work Ups. He could barely scratch my Smokey with his Vine Whips and so I continued to use Work Up, boosting my Attack and more importantly, my Special Attack. After 4 of them, I used my Incinerate and one-shot his Snivy. His Purrloin was sent to a quick grave at the hands of my Worked Up Smokey.

After the easy battle, we see a pair of Galactic Grunts run by us like jackasses with Bianca and some little kid not far behind. They explain that someone had kidnapped her Pokemon. Hearing this, Cheren chases after them like a madman. I, however, walked back to the daycare i so easily destroyed and healed my Pokemon. I headed into the patch of grass to see what kind of Pokemon I could catch. So, Introducing the new member to Team Awesome, Pudges the Pidove:

For Episode 5, justice will be served!

Nuzlocke Episode 3 - Pup’s Redemption!

From where we last left off, the sketchy scientist had invited us to her humble home. From her story it turns out that she’d like us to head to the Dreamyard to collect Dream Mist from a Pokemon called Munna.

Now that she gave us Cut, It’s time to put it to good use. I took both the TM Work Up that I received from the victory at the gym and Cut and jammed it into Smokey. She practiced her new abilities by cutting open a path allowing us further entry into the Dreamyard. As we enter, Bianca comes running in talking and stuff (Who cares about what she has to say? Honestly.) We walk a few steps and BAM! Munna! That was easy.

As we approach, two Team Galactic grunts come in and…start….kicking? Yes, apparently, the Team Galactic method to collecting Dream Mist is to kick the Pokemon. Sounds kind of like a Lunch-Money-Bully situation. Since we all know that kicking Pokemon is a no-no (but sending your Pokemon in to fight Pokemon who can do a Hyper Beam or Flamethrower is socially acceptable for god knows why) I decided to stand up to the injustice.

The two grunts came at me with sissy Pokemon and Jester made quick work with them.

After their horrible defeat, their leader Ghestis and friends (I don’t remember the others’ name) teleports in (How are they doing this?). They scold the grunts for their failure and leave. When they leave, Musharna, Munna’s mother comes in to save her kin and just leaves (What, Trainers don’t get a thank you?).

What do you call a mother who sleeps all the time? Negligent.

And so the scientist runs in and notices that Munna dropped the Dream Mist. So kicking her worked after all? We go back to our lab and she gives us a short tutorial about connecting with other players (which i probably won’t be doing since that would conflict with the rules of Nuzlocke). Free from my obligations in Striaton, I prepare to leave.

While at the Pokemon Center healing my Pokemon, I recognized a miracle. My Pup had been holding an item this entire time and my eyes were too clouded with pure hatred to notice until now. When I grabbed it, it turned out to be an Ultra Ball. Quite the rare item for my Pup to pick up with his ability…Pickup! After this miracle, I realized that even though Pup was a horribly unlucky mistake forced upon me by the rules of a Nuzlocke, he’s still MY Pokemon and I should treat him so. He’s still fucking ugly though.

Nuzlocke Episode 2 - Close Call

Where we last left off, we just learned that the Gym Leader is going to use Grass Type Pokemon so I’d have to be a complete idiot to go in there with my level 13 Jester who’s just going to get his ass handed to him. To the right of Striaton City, there’s a place called the Dreamyard. I head in there hoping to find some Pokemon in the grass but I couldn’t get to any of it without the HM Cut. As Jester just slaughtered all the trainers in my way, there was a nice girl that offered to give me a Pansear for free. Hell, why not, I’m not getting anything better….

Introducing our new member Smokey!

This level 10 fire-monkey already came with the fire-attack Incinerate but I didn’t feel safe enough to take on the Gym leader. I decided to do a little grinding but I was too impatient to get very far. I trained my Jester up about 2 levels and my Smokey 1 level (Fuck Pups!). I was going to train my Jester up until he evolved but I didn’t have the fucking patience to slaughter level 4 cats, dogs, and rats.

I decided to challenge the gym even though I didn’t level up very much. If anything, It’d be a good chance for Pups to die!

So I fought through the trainers just WRECKING with Jester. The gym doesn’t have much of a puzzle. There’s a curtain with a Pokemon type on it and I’m suppose to step on one of the types on the floor that beats it. Easy. So I finally get to the Gym Leader and SURPRISE!!!! It turns out there’s three of them. But I only get to battle the one with the type that’s beats my Jester… (the fuck…)

So he starts off with his Lillipup and I lead off with my Jester. Out of pure hatred for Lillipups, Jester and I showed him NO MERCY.

After that, it was on to the gym leader’s main Pokemon. Pansage.


Smokey VS Stupid broccoli head

I sent out my Smokey to counter and Incinerate it. Things were going to end with my victory. The two of them were evenly matched (my type advantage and his level advantage), trading blow for blow. However, UglyBroccoliHead managed to score a critical hit. I thought it was the end but Smokey was a fucking champ. She survived with 2 HP and sent that Pansage to hell. Thanks to the lovable Smokey, we managed to get our first Gym Badge.

As we left the gym, we were confronted by some random scientist who commanded us to follow her. And we did… (The world of Pokemon is such a trusting one) She takes us up to what she calls a lab (but looks more like a bedroom). In the center is a bed hooked up to a weird machine. She starts ranting about dreaming or something and then gives you the HM01 Cut. With it, we’re supposed to go back to the Dreamyard to get some “Dream Mist” (sounds like a euphemism for heavy narcotics) from a Pokemon called Munna. Smells like an adventure to me!

Nuzlocke Episode 1 - The Overpowered Otter

And so it begins like any other Pokemon game. We get an introduction to the World of Pokemon and i name my character. Of course, like every game i play, my character is named Reiza. One of the awesome things about this game is how fast we get in to the Pokemon Battling. It begins in our house and after some talking, we’re given the choice of three Pokemon to start off with.

Snivy (Smugleaf)

Tepig (Roast Pork)

Oshawott (Otter-that-fell-in-to-a-plate-of-makeup)

This was actually a pretty hard decision for me. My favorite of the three was Snivy but I had already played through my Pokemon White with him and I knew how disgusting Tepig was going to look at the end of the game (don’t believe me? And so the only one left was Oshawott.

After I picked Oshawott, I battled Bianca’s Tepig and Cheren’s Snivy. Then some story bullshit (something about the Bianca’s father not letting her leave for a Pokemon journey. Typical.)  After Sitting through and mashing the A button throughout the whole boring tutorial phase of the game, we finally get in to the wild grass for the first opportunity to add a new member to my team. As I stepped into the wild grass with my fingers crossed, hoping for something good, God shits on my face and gives me this:

Route 1

I captured this Lillipup only because having a nice meatshield will definitely be helpful later on in the game so I’ll keep him around until I get to shove this ugly mother fucker in to the box. (I did not let this guy battle. Not even once.)

And so I get in to the city, Acuumula Town and some more tutorial bullshit about a Pokemon Center. So I heal and have an encounter with this Mysterious Trainer N (I don’t wanna spoil anything for those of you who haven’t played this Pokemon yet.) I kick his ass and move on because I’m a fucking BOSS!

I leave Accumula and hope for a chance to catch something new in Route 2 and lucky me, I meet a Purrloin!

Route 2

Thinking this would actually be a useful Pokemon, I tried to catch it, but my Overpowered Otter had other plans. My Oshawott (who I nicknamed Jester) just raped the kitty in the face with a Water Gun and killed it. Thanks man.

Finally I reach the first city with a gym, Striaton City. I head straight to the gym but some old fuck decides to stand in my way telling me the gym leader is at the Trainer School. (The fuck is he doing there?)

Putting my questions aside, I head there and instead find my rival Cheren. He asks for a battle and my overconfident ass accepted only to be reminded that his Snivy is a Grass type and my Jester is Water. I decide to Tackle it to see how much damage that green turd could do to me. Lo’ and Behold, the Snivy decides to stare down my Jester with Leer as he brutally mashed his face in with Tackle. He calls out his second Pokemon, a Purrloin and I switch to my Pups (the retarded dog) just in case it actually decided to attack my defenseless Jester (Leer). I switch back to my rejuvenated Jester and drown that stupid cat with Water Gun.

After Cheren’s humiliating “strategy” resulting in defeat, he tells me that the Gym Leader has already left. I leave the trainer school and find the Gym Leader standing outside the Gym (Is he fucking Houdini? How did he walk past me?). I talk to him and he gives me advice on what type of Pokemon I’ll be fighting in the gym (Grass).

Wait til Episode 2 for the gym battle!